Home Sweet Home To Me
I couldn't agree more, Mr. Denver. But, where exactly is that?
At this time in my life, I am torn between two places.
One place, I've known my whole life. It's comfortable, quiet, and filled with a peace and love that I can't even describe with words. It's where my family, my oldest, dearest friends, and my church family all live. I was born, raised, and born-again here in this place. This place is beautiful, in a serene, safe kind of way with its rolling green hills, family-owned farms, and the one-horse-town of a county seat.
The other is still quite new to me. I wouldn't exactly call this place comfortable, either; "electric" or "invigorating" would be much better words. It's loud, filled with challenge and excitement, and is more fun than I ever thought possible. It's where I learn, where I grow both intellectually and spiritually, and where I become whatever God wants me to be, whether that's a pharmacist, a teacher, or a dietician. (The key word in the prior sentence being "whatever.") This place is also beautiful in a completely different way with its sparkling lights, dynamic energy, and the feeling of community you feel with those around you.
There's not a decision to be made here. I can't choose one or the other, and instead, it's as though I'm perpetually driving back and forth. I am going to be torn between home and school; that's part of life. I love both places, though in entirely different ways, for completely different reasons. I belong at college, for now. But, even knowing that doesn't make me miss my home any less. (And when I'm home, I find myself missing school!)
The trouble with visiting home, even if just for a weekend, is basically that warm, comfortable, easy feeling you get. It makes me realize just how good I have it at home and how easy it would be for me just to stay there forever, throwing away all the opportunities that God has given me here.
But, that's not what I'm supposed to do, now is it? God never meant for His plan to be quick and painless. Instead, I am destined to bypass Easy-Way-Out Avenue and take Strenuous Street, once again. God has a path picked for me: one that involves a little bit of homesickness, a touch of loneliness, and an occasional bout of indecisiveness.
Yes, His plan is much more difficult than I could have ever imagined, but I know that at the end of this journey, it will be worth it. All the late night study sessions, all the lonely Sunday afternoons, even the long trips back and forth between my two homes: it will all be worth it.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil,
to give you an expected end.
Jeremiah 29:11 KJV
(As I post this, I realize it might be ever so slightly irreverent to include an excerpt from a John Denver song and a Bible verse in the same post, but they both just tied the whole "road" and "journey" theme together so well!)